The Wagstaff Weekly

A couple of cranes pitched up in a field near Melton Mowbray a week or two back and as if by magic have erected four wind turbines. Up close I find them really spooky and I know other people who do. It is an actual fear and apparently it’s called anemomenophobia.

I never knew you can buy really expensive rotary dryers (whirly gigs as I call them) and people will pay top dollar for them.  

I misheard the news story and I thought the reader said ‘Kinder is killing relationships’. I’m thinking what, the confectionery product brand line of Italian confectionery multinational Ferrero SpA? Turns out it was Tinder!

You cannot make the bed as soon as you get up! My wife says you need to leave it to get aired. Ever heard that one?

Am I too old to put haha? I cannot put lol anymore as that is a real no-no.

I love the idea of cooking but hate doing all that clearing up afterwards and buying ingredients that we will never use again…..that and spending a couple of hours in the kitchen.

I had a look at my Twitter stats for some reason yesterday. I joined in 2009 and have so far tweeted 244 times, that’s about 40 per year. You couldn’t call me prolific, less than one a week.

I can beat that – I have only posted three messages on Facebook but deleted them and nothing on LinkedIn or Instagram.

Blimey Friends Reunited still works. Just signed in and had one unread message from September 2010.

I love the smell of a cigar.

I mentioned I was having fish and chips the other day and someone in the office said, in all seriousness, ‘but it’s not Friday’. Blimey I never knew that people stuck to eating fish on a Friday.

Communication is built on intonation. My wife and her sister tidied up the garden and I said ‘Yeah, great job’. What was my wife’s reply? ‘Well thanks a bunch!’ I actually genuinely meant it.

How many times do you suppose coffee shop workers are asked how big is ‘the big cup?’ before getting one off the shelf and showing a customer…..for the millionth time.

Rob P has just bought a 2 terabyte hard drive and it’s not much bigger than a smart phone. Does this add fuel to the debate that there simply wasn’t the technology to land a man on the moon? Not the fact Rob’s bought some more memory, the fact it wasn’t available in the 1960’s.

What is your average weekly food spend? 

I love gypsy toast or eggy bread, call it what you like. I think originally it was a way of using up stale bread.

Cats are the ultimate 'whatever'. One walked in front of my car and slowly turned and looked as if to say 'when l'm ready!'

'A word to the wise'. I've never understood that phrase. If they are wise, why would they need a word? Perhaps it's because they are wise they'll understand a word.

Not sure about this new fad/marketing ploy (call it what you like) of ‘same day delivery’. Can't we wait for anything nowadays? I genuinely never worry about delivery dates. Our three-piece suite took nearly 15 weeks, a month longer than promised to be delivered, and we were quoted 3 weeks for a table and that was a month ago.

What I really don't get is this obsession to have things 'before Christmas'.

So 10 new balls and a 1-in-45 million chance of winning the Lotto as opposed to 1-in-14! Nearly three times harder. I appreciate you win more but you win two million or you win fifty million, I would happily take the two. That said, if I am going to win, as nice as say ten grand would be, come on, I'd much prefer at least £750,000…..but still take the 10!

Apparently over the last twenty years participation is down around 50%. Why not have more prize winners winning smaller amounts?

My lucky dip this week didn't contain any of the new numbers......not that any are guaranteed to come up, especially if I have them. Lucky dip, it would feel like you won twice if your numbers come up. Once through the machine in the shop and then again on the night.

Why does the postman drop elastic bands on my path even when I ask him not to? Mind you he’s tough. Posties are tough! Just above freezing the other morning and he had shorts on.

New buzz phrase ‘future facing’.

Never text without wearing your glasses, you will end up sending a nonsensical message to someone you don’t know…..trust me!

If I ever suggest that I will remember a password or where I put something without writing it down, shoot me! Can I find the code for the router at home? I lose it all the time, and every time I find it, I convince myself I won’t forget next time.

I went for a coffee with an old friend last week and back in the car she looked in the rear view mirror, sighed and said ‘…..I’m getting old’ to which I replied (and apparently quite incorrectly) ‘we all are.’ It seems I should have said ‘not you, you haven’t aged at bit’.

Who doesn’t like shortbread? The biscuit of choice in the Rutland Radio office.

I stepped on a snail in the dark the other night and all I could say was ‘…..sorry, oh sorry’.

It's physically impossible to go into a garden centre to buy just the one thing.  

Is that right? We spend more on Halloween than Valentine’s Day? Not that I spend anything on either.

 

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