The Wagstaff Weekly

This made me smile. A man answered the door to a lad who wanted to nip in to his back garden, not to get his football as the man thought, but to get his drone. ‘…..can I have my drone back please mister?’

We are lucky if we want a doctor’s appointment; we ring up on the day and can usually get in. I know some people that have to wait over a week. Anyway, you do have to keep redialling when you get an engaged tone and it’s a bit like staying on the line to get the hottest concert tickets. Anyway my wife rang over thirty times on her mobile and suddenly realised she had the wrong number!

Now I appreciate I was running late the other morning, but it’s the first time during the week I have seen my sat nav lit up. Obviously the screen dims when the car lights are on and I usually drive to and from Rutland Radio in the dark.

I was sooooo lazy the other day. I did that thing of driving to the car park ticket machine, jumping out of the car with the engine running, door wide open, and getting my ticket. Then I drove all of 10 feet to a parking space!

My aversion to dealing with the post as soon as it comes has backfired on me. I sat down with a cup of coffee and waded through a pile of mail going back several weeks and found that the house content insurance had run out.

I love the printer at Rutland Radio. I swear it waits for you to walk away before printing off the last sheet.

I have said this before; I get so stressed by storylines on TV. I really like Mr Selfridge but I am not sure if I will keep watching it because I know he ends up bankrupt. How very sad is that?

Aren’t we a polite nation? You browse around a shop and on the way out you say ‘thank you’, you get off the bus and thank the driver and you come out of the doctor’s and you thank the receptionist.

I fancy the new Dad’s Army film but I cannot find anyone to go with. Apparently the reviews are a bit mixed.

We are being watched! I have said this before, my son and I firmly believe they are watching everything you do. I tell you the times you think about someone or see someone who suddenly appears as a “friend” suggestion on Facebook.

The other evening I got in my car and the phone pinged ‘your journey is clear to Burley Road and will take you an estimated 9 minutes’. Now as it happens I was going there but how did it know?

So the latest thinking is that SAD (Seasonal Adjustment Disorder) doesn’t exist. I don’t know but all I can say is it was fairly light on my way home the other night and it felt great. In fact all of a sudden the nights have started becoming that much lighter. Five o’clock is a watershed as is six o’clock. We’ve broken through the first one and the other evening was so clear that it was still light, in the same way it is at 11.30pm in the summer, at 5.45pm.

I love all those conspiracy theories – 911, the Moon landings, Kennedy, Dianna, Elvis etc. Now a professor has come up with a conspiracy theory model of how many people it would take for a conspiracy to last a certain number of years.  For instance, the Moon landing hoax began in the mid-60’s and would have involved over 400,000 NASA employees. With his model parameters, the professor’s equation suggests that the hoax would have been revealed within a little after 3.5 years.

Have you ever wondered why Twitter is only 140 characters? Well apparently…..140-characters were chosen as a good length, leaving 20 characters for the username of the sender. This way, anyone receiving a tweet via SMS would get the whole tweet in a single text message, with nothing spilling over into a second or third message that pops up minutes later.

Would you let a trainee stylist cut your hair for free?

Would you fast forward through January into February if you could? I am tempted to say yes but I saw some pictures of the bleak mid-winter in the paper the other day and you forget that the season has a lot going for it, like dark days, cold, snow, ice.....maybe not. My mum always said you should never wish your life away. It’s very true.

I opened the blinds in the living room and my wife snapped them shut again saying she doesn’t like people walking by and watching her put her makeup on. I said ‘what, the nanosecond anyone who can be bothered to, looks in?’

I just caught myself over emphasising that I have coffee, white, NO sugar. I do it every time someone makes me a drink. It is the same with the sandwich run. Brown baguette, NO butter or spread. I need to calm down.

So too much jogging can be bad for you. I have said for years that over-exercising isn’t good for anyone. My daily routine includes a brisk twenty minute walk. I say includes, that is essentially all it consists of.

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