The Wagstaff Weekly

My favourite phrase this week? ‘Referendum Ready.’

Remember when I asked why you see so many bees on the floor and I found out it’s because they simply run (fly?) out of energy on the way back to the hive? Anyway, there was a bumble bee on its back (and on its knees metaphorically) on the path, and clearly on its way out. My son read online that a solution of water and sugar can revive them, so he gave it a try. He carefully flipped the bee over and dribbled some of the liquid next to it and voilà! It took some and flew off.

Sugar has featured a fair bit over the last week. There was the sandwich shop for instance, who must love me going in and providing so much entertainment. I asked for ‘a salmon salad on a brown baguette with no sugar - I mean butter.’ Everyone sniggered.

I have also stated to become a little paranoid about my sugar intake, looking at the amount on every jar, pack and packet. If the guidelines are correct, we all have way too much. A few chocolate biscuits and you have almost had your daily allowance!

Don’t even ask about chocolate raisins, but I simply cannot resist them.

I am about to start reading a book on health and lifestyle choices and how it can possibly help you live a longer, fitter, healthier life. I would rather be reading a novel, and I know what it’s going to say - eat better, exercise and get plenty of sleep.

Do you know in some shops you have to be 21 to buy a pair of scissors? The assistant did that thing of making an exaggerated point to my wife, as if she hadn’t reached that age yet.

I had such a laugh yesterday watching my son trying to put together some garden furniture – he was Colin Clueless. He kept looking through the window with puppy-dog pleading eyes, in the hope that I would go outside and help him sort it, which of course I did with a ‘leave it to me, I’ll take it from here son’ nod.

Billy Corkhill is in Emmerdale! John McArdle who played Billy in Brookie. He’s 66 and my wife says she still fancies him.

We have a sunbathing squirrel in the garden. It lays on the top of the fence for ages in the sunshine and the other morning it sprawled out on the patio like a dog.

My son took me for a drink the other night, we didn’t go out until 9.40pm. He said it was early for him and his mates.

Wow - so the young lad in Diversity with the hair grew up all of a sudden.

What if one swallow does make a summer?

I did that thing of having a long conversation on the phone as I drove home and not remembering the journey at all.

Do you put the name of your pet(s) in cards? Our friend does, we always get it from her, her partner and Frank the rabbit.

I washed my car and if I say so myself, I thought I did a reasonable job. I pulled in to the supermarket and one of the car washers tapped on the window and asked if I need the car washing.

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