The Wagstaff Weekly

We now have a dartboard. I put it up in my son's bedroom and I'm surprised by wife has allowed it, but anyway we've had a couple of games of 501 and I do the scoring in my head, but my lad uses the calculator on his phone!

I am standing in a shop with a gaggle of men all on their phones while their partners browse around the store. I bet I'm the only one sending notes to himself! I must point out that I often message myself with blog ideas.

My sister-in-law runs the water for about a week before she fills the kettle.

I just fancied flying a kite in those winds the other day.

Do you really think luck exists? Good or bad? Luck: Success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one's own actions.

I love how my wife's lips move when she reads something.

What do you not iron because life is too short? Mine is underwear, socks, tea towels etc. Stuff like old t shirts come under items you quickly waft the iron over.

Apparently soaking a shower curtain in salt water before you hang it up stops it getting mouldy.

I did that thing of changing down a gear in the car rather than changing up…..the vehicle loves that. Why do I do it?

What’s that dot on the horizon? It’s payday!

I love it when someone with proper brains does something I would do because it makes me feel better. I won’t name them but they spent an age on an image, trying to make it look sharper before realising there was a smudge on the screen!

My son says our house is freezing and none of his mate’s is as cold as ours. His mum always reminds him that when she used to stay at my parents back in the day, there was ice on the inside of the bedroom windows on a winter’s day.

Do you leave your heating on through the night? Someone was telling me their boiler has a frost-free safety feature and as soon as the temperature drops below 5 degrees, it fires up and you cannot switch it off until it gets warmer.

I don't think I ever use a voucher until it's about to run our, be it for food, a gift, entertainment or a visit to somewhere.

You would think putting on hand cream is a simple application but for me it's not. I put some on this morning with my hands slightly damp and it took all day to rub it in. I've used it as an excuse for being late and even squirted some on my trousers by mistake in the car.

I had a real laughing until I cried moment once when my wife put so much hand cream on she couldn't get out of the bedroom because her hands wouldn't grip the door knob.

I just tried some green tea biscuits imported from Japan and they tasted like toothpaste.

There is always a slightly awkward moment when you go to take a shopping trolley back and do that thing where you exchange it for a pound coin from another shopper. Actually its awkward when you have to explain the trolley has one of those coin shaped key ring thingys rather than a pound.

How do you know how old your eggs are because you can never read the dates stamped on them? We peel the date sticker off the box and put it on one of the eggs but invariably it falls off. Here’s a thing, apparently the harder it is to get the shell off a boiled egg the fresher it is.

I cannot be the only one who is confused by the layout of big roundabouts over a motorway. You stay in the lane for say the M6 South and by the time you get round the other side you find you have to go across 3 lanes because if you stay in the original lane, you end up in the services.

Do you wash your hands like you are scrubbing up for surgery? My wife does but doesn't do that thing where she turns the taps off with her elbows.

I have never won the Lotto but I’m very lucky. I cannot tell you how many times my house has been chosen to showcase a new kitchen and have solar panels fitted…..all for free!

Don’t think I don’t know what’s going on. You know when you try to get a floor wipe/toilet wipe/ antibacterial wipe out of the packet? Well, three come out at once, and consequently they run out more quickly. I defy anyone to just get the one out.

Is your partner unobservant?

Do you have the perfect work/life balance? The ideal number of hours is apparently…..2.5 hours work at the desk, 2 hours spent outdoors, 1.5 hour socialising with friends, 2 hours doing something active and an hour having a relaxing lunch.

Here is something I’ve never considered. It takes time to get the data out of a plane’s black box flight recorder because they need to dry the components out inside. Apparently the box is fire proof but not waterproof. It’s something to do with air pressure, which means it cannot be watertight.

Have you noticed how the word “smorgasbord” is very prevalent at the moment? I love it. Smorgasbord - a range of open sandwiches and delicacies served as hors d'oeuvres or a buffet. A wide range of something; a variety.

As parents of children who play football on a Sunday morning, the three little words they love to hear the most is ‘game called off’.

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