The Wagstaff Weekly

When did Good Friday stop being a full-blown bank holiday? I am sure shops used to be closed until recently but everyone was open and doing their normal hours this year.

This is pathetic but still…..we were sitting on a settee in a coffee shop with a couple in their mid-thirties sitting opposite us, and I messaged my wife asking the question ‘do you think they are a couple?’ She replied, ‘not yet, first date I think’. We were sitting next to each other and sent each other a text!!

Yes OK I admit it! I took a trolley through the self-serve till at the supermarket!! Look, all the other checkouts were busy, and I only had a few items. Mind you, that didn’t stop me getting frosty looks, especially as the assistant had to keep resetting the machine.

I bet I sit down at my laptop and utter ‘… what am I doing?’ at least three or four times a day, especially first thing in the morning.

A bag of sugar lasts for months in our house, in fact we probably only buy a couple of bags a year. It is the same with light spread, although we do use it. Not quickly enough it seems, there was green mould at the bottom of the carton, and it was out of date.

Do people still say ‘missing you already?’

Wow – where did all the weeds in the garden suddenly come from?

It is time to think about switching off the heating. Remember, off in April and back on mid/late October. That said when will it warm up? It has got to be anytime soon, although my wife reminded me that when she took her driving test it snowed…..on 27th April!

We got in the other night and the phone was on the blink (when did you last hear that phrase?). My wife and I agreed to call her sister and get her to try our home phone, which she did, but not one of us questioned why we didn’t just do that from one of our mobiles. 

When did ordering a pizza get so complicated? Joseph here at Rutland took an age to work out if popping in to the shop with a voucher was cheaper than using the promotional code online. Seriously, it should be an exam question. If Joseph can buy a large pizza with a free medium pizza with the offer that came through the post, is it cheaper than the one large pizza and sides offer online?

We were with friends when we bumped into another couple they knew. They exchanged pleasantries and agreed that they looked exactly the same as they did all those years ago. When they had gone, one of our friends said ‘he’s aged!’ 

Even though I make sure the handbrake is on, I still go back to the car to check. My wife does the same, even after she has pulled the handle up so much it’s almost touching the roof.

It always seems that no sooner have the daffodils all come out they are gone again.

Did you see last week that if you had five numbers on the Lotto, you got less money than those with three or four numbers because so many people had the five? Have a dreamt this, but wasn’t there a jackpot win of about £3 million shared between loads of winners one year?

Remember when you wrote letters on a piece of paper with a sheet of thickly lined paper underneath?

How rubbish is this? I did my usual thing of not bothering to change into my old clothes thinking that I wouldn’t get paint on them, but of course I did…..and waited for a whole week to find the right time to confess to my wife.

I said this in the office the other day ‘I believe you, thousands wouldn’t’. I can hear my mum and every teacher at junior school saying it. That and ‘don’t be so heavy-handed’.

Light nights, light nights, light nights!!!

On reflection and with hindsight, yes I admit it was a stupid thing to do to throw away the safety pin that had been on the cabinet in the hall for a few days. How did I not realise that it actually severed a purpose?

Have you direct messaged a famous person and did you get a reply? Have they retweeted you and do you have any famous people following you?

Don’t you hate sitting on a warm seat on the bus or train? My friend says it’s lovely!!

So the ever-growing queue was growing impatient waiting for me to move away from the self-serve till, but I couldn’t. I picked up the bag and it pulled several others out concertina style and with my hands full, I couldn’t separate them.

I have just checked that Lotto fact and apparently - The highest number of jackpot winners in one draw is 133.

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