The Wagstaff Weekly

There has been a suggestion that the government should set a recommended minimum level of the amount of sleep we require. That’s just what we all want - worrying about how much sleep we need so that we can’t actually sleep.

My wife couldn’t get to sleep because I had the TV on so loudly downstairs that she had to close the bedroom door. The irony was that I was fast asleep in the chair.

Peanut butter – NO!!!

There is such a thing as dog yoga! We had a conversation in the office the other about baby yoga (again who knew?) and the conversation turned to yoga for dogs. You can see what it’s all about on YouTube but I found it strangely disturbing.   

Apparently all my media services are about to be disconnected if I do not click on the link on the email that I just received. Now I know it’s a scam but I doubled checked by logging on to my account via the normal route.

How about this for a business idea? Someone brought one of those pug type dogs in the other day and the whole office came to a standstill. Someone even had a selfie with it. Anyway, hire yourself out taking a dog round offices, especially on a Friday – it’s a winner.

How much of a tip do you leave? I always think if there are a fair few of you, it’s not unfair to ask you to leave a decent one, if the service has been good of course.

Have you left more than you intended? Instead of typing in £2.70 into the portable PIN machine, my friend accidentally typed in £27!!     

Do you remember a story a few years ago about how magnets could be used to fend off shark attacks, after tests showed the giant fish are repelled by them? Who would want the job of being the one who had to do the testing?

Are you old enough to remember when you used to put a plastic cover over your PC at night to stop it getting dusty?

Remember, a two minute download will take four minutes and a jug kettle that indicates five cups will only fill three!

Have you ever got hold of the wrong end of the stick? I once asked a receptionist if the staff alternate their breaks and she said ‘no they go at different times’. Someone I know was asked what state the Grand Canyon was in (they had just come back from a trip to America) and they said it was crumbling. The answer is of course Arizona.

What do you call the TV remote? Podger, Zapper, Blipper, Twitcher, Hoofer Doofer, the Buttons, the Wand, Doodar, Pinger or the Bobbins perhaps?

Looking the other way when filling your car up doesn't make the fuel go in any quicker. I try to guess how much I've put in by the time I turn round. Yesterday I guessed at least £30 but it was only £16. I know it’s very sad.

I love this story I heard the other day. A man was in the queue in a coffee shop when the woman customer next to him whispered that she had found £40 on the floor and asked him what she should do. He whispered back 'finders keepers' and said she should take it. When he got home he found he'd lost £40!

I cannot remember so many good series being on TV all around the same time. We are still catching up on Line of Duty, The Walking Dead and the excellent The A Word, all following on from the Night Manager. Now there’s Undercover, the Durrells and Home Fires, all in one night.

Remember the days when you could order mixed grill from the menu and not worry about your cholesterol? I haven’t had a grill in years and would never think to order one now.

Along with walking into a room and trying to remember why I’m there, I now get half way through conversations and forget the point I’m making.

Why is it if anything goes missing, I’m always accused of throwing it away? In fairness it is probably me because I throw most things away that are left around the house.

I believe that for every time you correct someone, there are occasions when people who misunderstand what you say never twig for years.....if ever!

How depressing is this? It’s the story of a funeral company who were thinking of installing cameras on their vehicles because they keep getting cut up by impatient motorists. Apparently in one incident a car cut in front of the cortege and the driver flicked a V.

Who would come across a peg on the path and put it in the bin because they are too lazy to go in the house, open the cupboard door and drop it in the peg basket?

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