The Wagstaff Weekly

I have seen a number of 'free Wi-Fi' notices recently - no one charges for the Internet now do they?

I am in ‘clothes delay’. The weather turns warm and I’m still in a jumper for a few days, it gets colder and I’m still in a t shirt.

I just deleted something that I actually wanted to delete rather than doing it accidentally.

So I was running late for a meeting and didn’t really dry my hands properly and must have made a great impression by shaking hands with a clammy palm. That and introducing myself by saying ‘Hi Rob, I’m Ian.’ 

Is Top Gear coming back?

I have a real thing about people leaving stuff outside charity shops – don’t do it! Go when the shops are open. I drove by one on Saturday night and someone had left a settee at the door.

My 20-year old cannot tie a tie. I had to put his on, tie it, loosened it and slip it over his head.

I’m a little obsessed with my new walking app and don’t stroll anywhere without it. It’s full of useful information, like the health centre is exactly 1k from my house and if you go up the private road with the big gated houses, it’s 3k back to my door. It isn’t clever enough though to show that I stopped off at the paper shop.

Random but, I don't think I have ever seen a swan taking off.

A man nearly took my eye out yesterday! I was walking just behind him and he had one of those sticks with a ball cup on the end that dog owners have for throwing a ball. Anyway, we swung the stick and almost hit me. He didn’t apologise but I don’t think he even saw me.

I had a serious ‘talking to’ by a colleague in the office the other day. It was one of those ‘we are all concerned about you’ conversations. They are concerned because I put the milk in the cup BEFORE I pour water over the teabag. I cannot believe this is still a big issue. Someone who has only just found I do it was incredulous.

Do we have a jogging epidemic? I don’t think I have ever seen so many people running around the parks and streets. Is the whole country on a health kick?

I tried to sneak by the cheery young man at the charity pop-up stand near the door in the supermarket. I would have made it if a woman had not almost barged in to me. Anyway, I loved his opening line which was ‘hello sir, do you know about first aid?’ They obviously only have a reply for no because I said yes and he simply went ‘oh.’

Wow – it is still light at 9.50pm. It just creeps up on you. That and the chirping birds at 4.30.

I was going out of the house and my wife said '… careful'. What was I going to do? Walk a tightrope? Walk over broken glass? Disarm a bomb? Nope - the big shop!

Still got any Easter eggs left? Why does Easter egg chocolate always taste better than chocolate bars? Is it because it’s thinner?

As soon as I pick up a book everyone around me wants to ask me things.

The sales assistant in the shop surveyed me and got a 36” regular trouser off the rack. I told him I’m a 34 and he scoffed in a ‘yes and I’m David Beckham’ fashion.

I have spoken about this before but I went to see the doctor at 7.50am because they now have an early surgery. My wife asked if I was really going because her logic is, he might not be fully awake!

I booked my car in for an MOT and the assistant insisted in reading the registration number and postcode back as Delta, Lima etc. Please don’t do that, it just confuses me.

Is it normal for pets to have a favourite toy in the same way children do?

Why do carpet fitters always leave enough carpet to do another room?

Remember when your mum used to keep telling you to stop showing off? That and your grandparents saying things like, ‘wear the old ones out first.’

You can never find anything you are looking for in the newspaper. Vouchers are best – Try finding those when you are looking back through a week’s worth of papers.

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